CORONAVIRUS SUPPORT GUIDE: HOW TO STAY MINDFUL AND RESILIENT WHEN TRIGGERED

I’ve created this support guide to help you weave some stability, predictability, presence, and loving-kindness into your daily life as we navigate together the unknown of the present times.

In this guide, you’ll find tips, tools, and resources related to:

• How to use mindfulness to cope with discomfort (and even pain)

• How to release tension and stress through body awareness

• How to become your own loving parent and foster a resilient mindset

• How to stay connected when social distancing

One of my missions is to make the work of coping with the overwhelm of stressful triggers and the symptoms of trauma actually feel light, refreshing, expansive, and reviving. We can give ourselves permission to be curious, experimental, and even playful in the ways that we survive and thrive (regardless of our past conditioning) when faced with new destabilizing triggers.

Chaos and unpredictability, especially when it comes to health, are triggers that can send anyone into an emotional tailspin. We need, now more than ever, to reconnect with our inner resourcefulness and resilience for the sake of our wellbeing and the health and wellness of our communities as a whole.

I’m sharing specific mindfulness, body awareness, self-leadership, and connection resources, tools, and strategies to keep you actively engaged with your mind and body in a supportive, grounded way.

After all, the one thing that we can control right now is how we use our time and energy and with what presence of mind and body we show up given the limitations of our circumstances.

HOW TO USE MINDFULNESS TO COPE WITH DISCOMFORT (AND EVEN PAIN)

1. Practice Radical Acceptance. According to Tara Brach, Radical Acceptance is the ability to “clearly recognize what is happening inside us, and regard what we see with an open, kind and loving heart.”

Radical Acceptance is the opposite of our default setting, which is to resist that which is physically or emotionally painful, to become stiff, rigid, and contract our muscles, to shut down and narrow our minds. As a result, we become overwhelmed at the hands of our own resistance to what already is. We get stuck rejecting reality and neglecting our genuine needs and those of others. Tara Brach explains the consequences of this resistance: “If we are holding back from any part of our experience, if our heart shuts out any part of who we are and what we feel, we are fueling the fears and feelings of separation that sustain the trance of unworthiness.”

Experiment with practicing Radical Acceptance using Marsha Linehan’s worksheets as well as this guideline. If you like what you see and feel the urge to take a deep dive into the world of Radical Acceptance, I recommend exploring Tara Brach’s e-book and Youtube talk.

2. Make an appointment with yourself to let all the worries, fears, anxieties, and any other difficult feelings or challenging thoughts surface. 

Schedule “worry time” for 3-5 minutes once or twice per day. This means that for the rest of the day you will be engaging in an informal mindfulness practice.

Whenever you notice yourself having a worrying thought, catch it and gently remind yourself that your appointment with “worry” is later on that day. Turn your attention to what you’re doing in the here-and-now.

Worry time is an opportunity to practice Radical Acceptance. It may even be helpful to journal any thoughts and feelings during this time in a stream of consciousness fashion.

3. Practice more formal kinds of meditation using free apps like Insight Timer and subscription-based apps like Waking Up with Sam Harris. Sam Harris is offering free subscription to those who cannot afford the monthly membership fee (just contact support@wakingup.com).

4. Educate yourself on why meditation is important in times of emergency.

Understanding the “why” behind our behaviors can give us a sense of meaning and purpose, especially when the world as we know it feels like it may be falling apart and we’re losing direction as a result.

HOW TO RELEASE TENSION AND STRESS USING BODY AWARENESS

1. Practice tuning into, listening, and learning the language of the body, using this Felt Sense exercise.

Now is the time to befriend your body and explore the familiar territory that is your present sensory experience. You can practice actively listening to your body and discover new ways of embodying the present moment, which is the only guaranteed experience in life.

2. Try out these 10-minute Tension and Trauma Releasing Exercises.

While doing these exercises, we can practice compassion and kindness toward the body, appreciating how sensory experiences rise, recede, and transform like waves gently rolling across the shore of consciousness.

3. Reconnect with the wisdom of your body by experimenting with Peter Levine’s exercises.

These are self-help exercises that can be useful in releasing past traumas and restoring harmonious awareness.

4. Try beginner-friendly online yoga classes that integrate functional movement, mindfulness, and a playful attitude. I recommend Ease + Calm at Home. It’s a 6-month program that currently is offering a discount (available until April 3rd, 2020).

HOW TO BECOME YOUR OWN LOVING PARENT AND FOSTER A RESILIENT MINDSET

1. Reframe this as an opportunity to turn inward, listen to your needs, and show up for yourself the way a loving parent would show up for a child in distress.

Practice being curious toward any inner children parts and respond with compassion and reassurance. Take action by showing up for your most vulnerable parts in new ways that were not easily accessible to you before due to time constraints, distractions, overstimulation, etc.

Ask yourself:

• Are there any habits that you’ve wanted to start building? 

• Are there any habits that you’ve wanted to eliminate from your life? 

• Any project that you haven’t gotten around to for whatever reason (e.g. online course, reading, writing, exercise, organizing, etc.?) 

Try to identify activities that give you a sense of accomplishment (e.g. taking an online course, organizing a closet, etc.), a sense of joy/pleasure (e.g. listening to music, dancing, painting, etc.), and/or both (e.g. finishing a challenging puzzle, exercising, etc.).

If you’d like more specific, actionable tools and strategies, take a look at James Clear’s e-book on building good habits and breaking bad ones.

2. Create structure, predictability, and order out of the uncertainty and chaos some of your more vulnerable parts may be experiencing. This means creating rules for yourself the way a loving parent would set boundaries for a toddler.

Use a platform like Google calendar with time blocks noting some or all of the following:

• what you will do, (e.g. meditate)

• for how long you will do it, (e.g. for 3 minutes)

• when will you do it, (e.g. while my morning coffee is brewing at 8am)

• where in your home, (e.g. on a cushion on the floor next to the living room balcony door)

• & why are you choosing to do this behavior/what is your intention? (e.g. to practice controlling my attention so that I can get grounded and centered even if parts of me are feeling overwhelmed and panicked by uncomfortable thoughts and emotions)

Limit your news consumption.

Choose one or two trusted outlets to stay informed. Check your source(s) once or twice per day. Schedule the time and duration.

3. Practice Self-Compassion.

I especially recommend the Soften, Soothe, Allow practice. Using “soften, soothe, allow” as a mantra can be an incredibly effective means to reconnect with your self-compassion practice on an as-needed basis throughout your day. 

HOW TO STAY CONNECTED WHEN SOCIAL DISTANCING

1. Remember we’re all in this together doing our best. Read Esther Perel’s beautiful blog post that includes practical tips on staying connected while social distancing.

2. Remind yourself that everyone processes uncertainty in different ways. Some people may need to vent their worries to their family members and friends in order to process what’s happening, while others need to catch a break and stop thinking and talking about the virus altogether.

Identify people in your social circle that may cope in a similar way and use each other as resources. Set boundaries if you’re in the group that needs to catch a break. You have the right to have non-coronavirus conversations.

You and the people in your life have the right to be irrational, overwhelmed, scared, angry, lost, confused, and any other state of being under the sun. It’s normal to feel like you’re on a roller coaster ride. However, you’re not alone. Prioritize mutual respect and understanding for how everyone is doing their best processing these unprecedented times.

3. Practice loving-kindness toward others. Giving to others has a way of not only helping others but also rewiring our nervous system so that we are in a better position to self-regulate and reduce stress. If you’re in the fortunate position to be able to give to others during this time, here are some ways you can do so: 

• Create something for a loved one (e.g. a drawing, playlist, delicious meal, etc.) 

• Carve out time and space to video call a family member or friend who you know is isolated at home on his or her own.

• Donate to your local food bank. If possible, money is better than groceries.

• Keep paying people if you can. If you have the resources, this can be an incredible way to support your local community.

• Buy gift cards from local businesses to support them now while they’re strained or at risk of closing for good.

4. Connect to your role models. Who is someone you’ve looked up to in the past for the ways in which they navigated uncertainty and overcame obstacles? Hint: This person can be alive or not, someone you know or don’t know, someone famous or not.

Remind yourself what about this person you admired and maybe even tried to emulate in your own life. Connect by reaching out to this person if they’re alive and in your inner circle. If it’s someone famous, maybe read their memoir or biography. Maybe watch an interview with them to revive that connection and inspiration.

If you don’t have anyone in mind, go ahead and ask a few of your close loved one who they have looked up in this way and what was so special about them.

And that’s all for now. This is not a comprehensive guide by any means. It’s here for educational purposes so that you can use as little or as much as feels right for you in the way that feels good for you and your life.

Take care,

Sofia Vasi

Psychotherapist Sofia Vasi holds a bachelor’s degree in Psychology from New York University and a master’s degree in Counseling Psychology and Psychotherapy from DEREE, the American College of Greece. She was born and raised in New York City and has returned to her family roots in Athens, Greece. She has a private practice located in central Athens, where she conducts sessions in both English and Greek, serving the vibrantly diverse expat community as well as Greek natives. She also provides online counseling via video call.